Hello loyal readers and other folks. This is the second time I am startin’ this here race report. I somehow lost the whole dadgum writin’. I mean like, how in the devil did that happen? And this ain’t the first time neither. Course it don’t do any good to complain about it. I’m just sayin’. Plus I am just about as irritated as any granny could be. I was right smack dab in the middle of explainin’ (and complainin’) about Duck’s house guest, his duck cousin. It’s too long to go in to it all again, but Dirk. as I have named him, was suppose to be with us just one night accordin’ to my instructions. But Duck says he needs family right now to help him get through whatever he is goin’ through. Oh my good and gracious LORD this is bothersome. Yessirre it is and I don’t like it neither, one little bit let me tell ya that one somethin’ right now.
Anyway back to the task at hand. Gonna have to hurry too cause I need to keep an eye on you know who for you know whatever, I’m thinkin’. There was no race on Friday (which is how Dirk came to be here but nevermind) so Saturday was one of those 2 race days and I don’t think I like that neither. Too much time on the divan and now it’s too crowded on the divan, plus there’s just too much snacks on the crates and too much mess on the floor. Oh my good and gracious Lord, this has just turned out to be a too much of pert near every aggravatin’ stuff in 2 race days, trust me on that one somethin’ right now. I know…
So Saturday with our house guest Dirk sleepin’ in, Duck and I got to our daily chores done early so as to watch the 2 races. Course just as we finished and got the snacks on the crates mister sleepin’ in Dirk got up and planted himself on the divan right between me and Duck! Uh, RUDE, I say there you little aggravatin’, lazy, can’t talk a lick, uncivilized, don’t know a stinkin’ nothin’ about racin’ duck! Anyway, the Nationwide race at Chicago was first if I remember correctly. Wide Smilin’ started on the pole followed by WOG, Ricky Jr, Sam The Man, and Curly Sadler. The rest you can look up if you need to, That little track was just crazier than usual and with 200 laps and those speeds it didn’t take no time at all to start lappin’ the field. Why 16 cars didn’t even finish the race for various reasons but most bein’ engine problems. At the end it was Ricky, Jr celebratin’ in Victory Lane. Good for him I say! Rowdy finished 2nd followed by WOG, G/B Brad and PM. You can look up the rest. Good for all of ’em I say! Duck said Dirk said he doesn’t much like Ricky none. Uh…that boy doesn’t know diddly doo’ about racin’ nothin’ and I told Duck to tell him that but I don’t think he did. Oh well I say! Duck and I were pleased enough, though. I guess.
Now there wasn’t any time at all to bring in wood and get the stove ready to cook a full meal so we just had snacks again and plenty of them let me tell ya that right now. And folks, with Dirk we needed them trust this granny. We had crackers and 2 kinds of cheese, itty bitty tastey sausages and Iced tea. Eveery bit of it gone by race’s end if ya don’t count the mess on the floor. Oh my good and gracious LORD! I made the 2 duckle heads clean it up, but back to the Truck race at Iowa that same day. PK started on the pole followed by Dave Blaney’s boy Ryan, Piquet Jr, Rock’em Sock’em and Buescher. No time for more startin’ stuff. You can look up the rest.
This was great to see the Trucks again. Duck and I enjoy them. Not sure about Dirk. Don’t care neither. Anyway no time for lap by lap or any such close stuff. Now listen here folks. I told you all that that Blaney young’un was gonna be big and that sweet boy won. He won! Why I was woohooin’ all over the place. Duck started to too but he looked at Dirk and got back up on the divan. Well I tried to control myself but not real hard. I let it rip. Yesirree I did. I told Duck this unnatural behavior was gonna stop. That this duck chatter was gonna stop. Talk English I said! And if he can’t then he can shut up or they can go outside. I said either way peace shall reign in my home once again.
I heard Duck teachin’ Dirk some English. Now let me say I don’t have no problem with anyone speakin’ their home language, pure and simple. What they do in their own home is none of my business. But in my home, I am the law. Like it or leave it I pert near always say, but, I am tryin’ to be generous here to my sweet Duck. I admit I don’t give 2 tail feathers about Dirk but I love me my Duck, so, I’m tryin’ here ya understand but I ain’t gonna try forever. Understand that, folks,. but for just a little bit of time. Whatever is all I have to say about that at this particular moment. Know what I mean?
So Sunday I was just waitin’ for the Cup race to start. With duckle head Dirk here I didn’t have time to spin around and cuss a cat let alone watch qualifyin’. So I turned on the TV, turned the sound up just a little more than necessary, changed the channel to racin’, made no breakfast nor snacks what so ever, climbed on the divan and woohooed as the green flag flew. I realized at that very moment with Duck still in bed, most likely from stayin’ up late teachin’ Dirk some English, that I never heard Duck quack at all the day before for the wavin’ of the green flag. Oh my good and gracious Lord, I marched in his room, yanked him out of bed, read him the racin’ right act and made that boy quack for the green flag. Course it was done wavin’ by the time we got back in there but it was the principal of it all! Know what I mean? He climbed up on the divan with me and we smiled like we hadn’t in 3 days, let me tell ya that one somethin’ right now! Oh it was wonderful, yessirree it was, just me, my dear sweet Duck and racin’. Ahhh! And the Dirk came in. Well it was wonderful while it lasted I say!
So we cheered and quacked as the green flag flew for NSCJBMAS, AA, Robo, JR and Flippin’ Carl. Duck was excited to see his idol in the top 5. He was explainin’ to Dirk in half English and half duck about Flippin’ Carl and I do believe that boy was mostly understandin’ him. For the first time in 3 days I smiled…just a little bit. The rest you can look up folks and time is runnin’ short so let’s cut to the Chase, literally! 22 cars finished on the lead lap but Jeffie wasn’t one of ’em I am sorry to say. Sad for this Chaser I say! He finished 35th poor fellow. Jr started out real good,but then had a not so good or lousy runnin’ spell but rallied up to finish 8th. I was thrilled, yessirree I was! G/B Brad won, NSCJBMAS finished 2nd, Kutie Kahne 3rd, Rowdy 4th, Flyin’ Ryan 5th, Smoke 6th, Wide Smilin’ 7th, Martin T 9th and Bowyer 10th. Good for all of ’em I say and sad for the other Chasers and Flippin’ Carl too who finished 19th. I could see the confusion on Dirk’s face. He actually is a fairly good lookin’ duck considerin’ he has few manners, can’t speak well, eats messy, burps a lot, not completely or fairly much not even close to bein’ house trained and he sleeps on the floor. Other than that, well nevermind.
I’m sure there are lots of folks happy with the winner and lots not but it really is that way every race as ya all know. The Chase lineup stands as G/B, NSCJBMAS, Smoke, Denny Boy, Kutie, Bowyer, JR, Biff, Truex Jr, Happy, Robo and Jeffie. Go ahead and cheer or frown as it applies to ya.
Now for some other stuff. Reports say Crew Chief Darian Grubb and Denny Boy are as happy as ants in a peach pie at bein’ paired with each other. Good for both of ’em I say. I bet there are several of each of those job holders that aren’t these days. I’d be willin’ to put Dirk up for that bet, I think. Teehee, snicker, snicker!
And if you haven’t read the “letter to self” from JR I suggest you do. Puts that boy in a differrent light all together I do believe. Now I have always liked that boy. Always and that’s a fact. Course I really liked his daddy a lot to. That man was bigger than life to his millions of fans and his plans for Jr were never realized in hi’s life so I have always pulled for that boy and he sure made some independent moves in racin’, Eveb away from DEI’s hold! I like his sense of self and so does most all of his fans I reckon.. Does DEI even still exist anymore? I mean ya never hear any stuff about it anymore. Maybe it is in to party plannin’ exclusively or somethin; else? Shoot fuzzy I don’t even know but I do know it ain’t what it once was or even close to what it would have been if Sr was still alive. You can put that in your pot and cook it all day long I am sure.
And I read where Tony Eury, Sr left JR Motorsports willin’ly last week. Ryan Pemberton took over that spot right away. Now looka here. Sometimes that stuff happens and for the good, sometimes as well. It’s most always hard to do with family, but necessary once in awhile and I’m hopin’ Duck is readin’ this. Know what I mean?
Right now at this very moment Duck and Dirk are runnin’ around outside and havin’ a great time. I have to admit it’s cute and all but I need to close this out and remember to hold my stand, whatever that means. Outta time folks so there ya have it. Granny, Duck and (for what it’s worth} temporarily Dirk all over and out. No email folks. No time! I just saw those two duckle heads have knocked all my laundry off the clothes line. OH MY GOOD AND GRACIOUS LORD! I’m out.
Duck get your duckbutt in here!!!
